The Regret
by TheSuiteEmilie
Summary: 3 years later; Jessie opens up about what she regrets the most... Part 2 in my oneshot series "The broken hearts".


Hi!

Here's part 2/3 of my one-shot series "The broken hearts!". If you haven't checked the first part out yet, then please do! ;) It's called "The goodbye"!

xx

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"So... The next and last song I'm gonna sing for you, is a song that is very personal to me," I said said into my microphone as I walked around on stage, and looked at the huge crowd of people. People who were there to see me. People who had payed actual money to hear my music. It still seemed so surreal to me.

"Have you guys ever regretted something? If yes; then raise your hand," I looked at the crowd. Basically everyone were raising their hand.

"Ok. So most of you have regretted something, I see." I smiled "I have too..." My smile faded slowly.

"I still do. And it has been the same thing for years."

"What is it?!" Someone yelled from the crowd. I wasn't expecting anyone to ask. I didn't know what to do. Being honest and letting them into my mind seemed scary, but also seemed like the right thing to do. It'd somehow make us closer and break down that invisible wall between me and the stage, and them.

"You really wanna know?" The crowd nodded and yelled "Yes!"

I chuckled slightly even though I was scared as hell. I'd never really shared this with anyone before.

"Okay... So a few years ago I-I got the offer to kick off my singing career. At that moment I was working in New York as a nanny for this wonderful family," I smiled to myself at the thought of the Ross kids. "I'd been working for them for about 6 years. They were like family to me. They still are, but sadly we don't see each other that much anymore."

I looked up. I had the crowd's full attention.

"Besides being a nanny for this amazing family, and constantly struggling with what I thought was an acting career," I chuckled as the crowd gave out a friendly laugh as well. "Besides all that; I met this guy..." I couldn't hold a smile back. So many good memories Went through my head at that moment.

"We started out as friends. Almost co-workers I'd say, since we worked in the same building. He was the building's doorman. Anyways; We started off as friends. Mainly because I instantly friend-zoned him. That was only because we worked in the same building though. I actually had a huge crush on him," I chuckled again, remembering how crazy I was for hiding my feelings like that.

"Anyways; this guy was the sweetest, funniest and most caring guy I've ever met. He really believed in me, and supported me in my dreams. No matter how far away they seemed. I actually mattered to him, even though we weren't dating... In the beginning," I was cut off by the cat-calls coming from the crowd.

I could only laugh at it. "So after some time I realised that hiding my true feelings, just because we worked together was stupid. So I gave in and let him take me on a date. Actually he took me on 4 or 5 first dates before it worked out somehow like we'd planned on. Then we were together for about a year and a half. Everything was amazing. But somehow the spark disappeared and we broke up." I could feel myself tear up a bit.

"But after a few months or so, we realised that being just friends wasn't what we wanted at all. We fell for each other all over again and got back together."

The crowd cheered. Yet they hadn't heard what happened next. They didn't know that this is where it would go wrong, hurt and scar.

"But..." I waited for the crowd to settle down again.

"So as I said earlier; I got the offer to kick off my singing career. That was a few years ago. 3 years ago to be more specific."

I walked around a bit and looked at the crowd.

"In order to kick off my career I had to move to LA. Which means leaving this amazing family and also this..." I sighed as I thought of him. Again. "Incredible guy." I paused.

"He offered to move to LA with me. I said no because I didn't want him to leave all his loved ones behind just because of me. And I also said no to having a long distance relationship. Not because I didn't love him, because believe me," I smiled "I did. Very much."

"But because I wanted to focus 100% on making this career work, and wouldn't manage to give him enough of my time. I wouldn't have time to treat him like he deserved. Love him like he deserved..." A small tear rolled down my cheek, but I quickly brushed it off with my hand.

"So I broke up with him. Left him in the dust as he tried to fight for us... And I regret that more than anything else. If I could go back in time and change that; I would. I wouldn't give up my career, but I would fight for us. For him and I." It all went silent for a minute.

"So now you know," I smiled, and the crowd applauded and cheered. Didn't know why exactly, but I just kept on smiling. They were amazing. As the crowd calmed down again; I grabbed my guitar and started playing. My voice appeared and followed the rhythm. It all merging into my feelings from when I wrote this song.

"_Hey, do you remember_  
_How we would stay up all night_  
_Talking about our destiny..."_

I looked down at my guitar, and then at the crowd who'd finally realised that I was playing. They cheered a bit again.

"_And you played the piano  
And I'd strum on my guitar  
Those were the days._

_If only you could see me now  
I live my dream, I owe it all to you-uhuh,_" I looked up into the sky. Seeing his dazzling smile in the moonlight.

"_I owe it to you...  
Isn't it crazy, yeah isn't it crazy  
It's all because of you  
All because of you..._" I looked at the crowd. The band joined and the first chorus was a big, emotional explosion.

"_It's all because of you, oh!  
All because of you, oh!  
I know that if the sky would fall I'd survive it all,  
Because of you!_" Climax faded a bit.

"_I reach for the horizon,  
Whenever I've got days of doubt  
Bringing me down._

_So even if disaster strikes  
I close my eyes and then I'm next to you-uhuh..."_ I closed my eyes and pictured him holding me. Never wanting him to let go.

"_I'm right there with you..._" I opened my eyes again.

"_Yeah isn't it crazy, isn't it crazy?  
It´s all because of you...  
All because of you..._"

Climax build up again, and exploded in another chorus!

"_It's all because of you, oh  
All because of you, oh  
I know that if the sky would fall I'd survive it all  
Because of you, ohhhh!_"

I calmed down again...

"_It's all 'cause of you  
Because of you...  
Because of you...  
It's all 'cause of you_

_I know that if the sky would fall I'd survive it all  
Because of you, oh..."_

This was it. The last chorus. I poured out my last hurt feelings and gave it all I had.

"_It's all because of you, oh!  
All because of you, oh!  
I know that if the sky would fall I'd survive it all  
Becuase of you..._"

I let the last word fade off of my lips. Softly and calmly.

The crowd exploded into this massive wave of screams, cheers and applause. I smiled with tears in my eyes. Because I was happy and also hurt at the same time. Old scars had been opened. And salt had been poured into them. Luckily this was my last performance tonight. I smiled, waved, sent air kisses. I did what I had to do to make them happy, while I was breaking down on the inside.

At last I got to walk off stage. My mascara was starting to smear a bit. My crew cared about me and wanted to make sure I was okay. But honestly; all I needed right now was some alone-time. I politely waved them off. But as I was about to enter my bus; Mike, my security guard, walked up to me.

"Jessie? There's someone at the back of the stage who claims that he's an old friend of yours. What should we do? He says that seeing you is really really important."

I sighed. Another fan. They were the reason that I got to do what I do, so why not give back when they needed it the most.

"Let him in. I'll talk to him for a bit, give him an autograph and it'll be good."

Mike nodded and walked away.

I sat down on the stairs which were leading into my bus. I sighed. This was torture. Not being able to burry my face in a pillow and cry was torture. This dress was torture. Everything was right now. I buried my face in my hands and tried to calm down. I heard footsteps.

"_Jessica_?"

That voice. The way my full and rarely used name was pronounced... I'd recognise it in a crowd of screaming fans and babies. But could it be..?

I looked up.

"_Tony_?"

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Gahh! Sorry for the cliffie! ^_^

But please leave a review so I know that you guys actually read this! xD

And also; The song that features in this story is not written by me or Jessie (xD). It's a song called _**You**_ by Robin Stjernberg. I own **_nothing_** there!

Xx

Emilie


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